Taylor Lautner Works Out on Set, No One Knows Why This Was Important

Taylor Lautner, who plays Jacob Black, was taped working out on set for three minutes and 14 seconds. Was this interesting? No. I'm beginning to think the cast of Twilight isn't expected to be very entertaining.

OOHHH, OKAY! The movie makes sense now.



Source: Lainey Gossip

If this is heaven, I don't wanna go.

There's this girl making manipulations of Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen. Apparently they're manips of him in heaven, but they make me feel like I'm in a special circle of hell.

LET ME TRANSLATE FOR YOU

Members of LiveJournal community french_twilight are disappointed, horrified, disgusted and terrorized by the love the lion_lamb moderators and friends feel for Michael Angarano, Kristen Stewart's boyfriend. She obviously belongs with Robert Pattinson, despite that she's factually with someone else, so appreciating Angarano's work and creating a site for him is the equivalent to Twilight blasphemy. How dare they?

Poor Mike. He never hurt anybody.



Source: french_twilight

FANFIC AUTHOR TO PUBLISH FANFIC, O OK

Lady Sybilla, some Twilight fanfic author doing everything she can to be noticed, is going to publish a fifth Twilight book. Apparently it's about Jacob, Renesmee, and blah blah blah whatever.

The points are:
1.) it's illegal,
2.) because of copyright issues (har har), the preview chapter was taken down from YouTube.com, and let me tell you, it was the purplest, most awful prose I have ever had the misfortune to hear, and
3.) IT'S ILLEGAL.


Just sayin'.


Source: russet-noon.com

NON-ISSUE.

Gossip blogs and magazines are reporting Zac and Rob are fighting over who's prettier better. I do not know why this is an issue, to be quite honest.


Source: Lainey Gossip, my own ads?

Why, Why, Why?

A Twimom posted this secret to fandomsecrets. I think the secret speaks for itself, but if you can't figure it out, allow me:

Someone hide Taylor Lautner. Quick!


Source: fandomsecrets

Oh.

There's a... Robert Pattinson doll now?

Oh no. I won't say what I'm thinking, but it has to do with Twimoms and a freezer.




Source: inquisitir.com

Fans Jizz in Their Pants

Some fans were stalking Robert Pattinson on the New Moon set. They were also jizzing in their pants. They love that.

Source: youtube.com

All Compasses Point to Crazy

So, a member at the Twilight Sucks message board posted a story about a crazed fan dousing a Twilight non-lover with acid, and then attacking him with a compass.

Suddenly in a fit of rage, she picked up a beaker full of acid, and screamed 'You bastard twilight hater!!!' and threw the whole beaker of acid in my friends face. He screamed, and tried to get away, however the girl, obviously not contempt with ruining his face, got a compass out and proceeded to stab him several times with the compass. I was in a state of shock, but somehow I managed to gain enough sense to be able to knock the compass out of her hand, and tackle her to the ground. she was kicking and screaming and clawing.

I think I've heard this one before. No, I actually think I have heard this one before. I also don't think it's true.



But I wouldn't put it past certain fans...


Source: Twilight Sucks

Twilight Worshiped, Apocalypse Near

I suppose we all should have seen that the fanatical cult that is Twilight would eventually have become... well, a fanatical cult.

Pillow Biters, a Twilight blog, has created a stir over the message board Twilight Academy when she blogged about their religion class.

...their religion class that reads Twilight like the Bible and sees the characters as for-real gods. Oh, and they also call themselves "Cullenists."

Edward is the god of protection, chivalry and game.
Bella is the god of Insecurities, Closure and beginnings
Carlisle is the god of health and prosperity.
Esme is the god of care and compassion.
Jasper is the god of war, stradegy and educational pursuit.
Alice is the god of fashion, fun and love.
Emmett is the god of strength, friendliness and happiness.
Rosalie is the god of beauty and grace.

I want to believe this is all a bad joke, just like Pillow Biters, but then I saw Twilight Academy's most recent update on their homepage. They called the dissenters of the religion class "a bunch of rude, ignorant, incorrigibly disgusting bashers."

So... I'm betting it's not a joke. Sigh.




Source: Pillow Biters, Twilight Examiner