Awkward...

For the DVD release of Twilight, actors and special guests showed up at random release parties.

From ONTD:
2,500 fans attended in Salt Lake City to see Rachelle Lefevre who plays Victoria; 2,000 showed up in Los Angeles to see Ashley Greene who plays Alice Cullen; over 1,000 fans came out to see director Catherine Hardwicke in Dallas; 700 fans lined up in New York for Edi Gathegi who plays Laurent; and 500 fans in Chicago saw Nikki Reed who plays Rosalie Hale.

A member at lion_lamb commented that she heard half the people in Chicago left when they found out their special guest was Nikki Reed.

And I thought people hated Kristen Stewart.




Source: ontd, lion_lamb

Walking Talking Advertisements AKA Twilight Fans

A fan posted at lion_lamb some new merch she found at Hot Topic.

Now Edward Cullen can stare at you whenever you check the time, and you can be hip and show the world you support a fictional character with your shoelaces.

Okay really now, you guys. Really?


Source: lion_lamb

DOUBTFUL

Star spies claim Kristen has been belly-aching to anyone who will listen about the all of the attention Robert receives almost effortlessly, while she on the other hand can barely squeak through her interviews on late night TV.

Just another shovelful in the big pile of "Kristen Stewart is a bitch" crap.


Source: popcrunch.com

It's too late to apologize, it's too laaaaate.

Dan Levy apologized for calling Kristen Stewart a bitch, after he told her to essentially grow up for not answering a question about Robert Pattinson because he pays her bills.

I guess MTV pays his bills.


Source: youtube

The First Sign of the Apocalypse? (Probably Not.)

Twilight was released today and sold ~3,000,000 DVD copies in less than 24 hours. I went to Target today to buy my own copy (you can judge me, I don't care), and they were sold out.

I took a good hard look around the media section at the many faces of despondent teenage girls in Twilight t-shirts and thought, "Is this what the world's come to?"


Source: ONTD

Hopelessly Devoted to the Point of Discomfort

The List of People Twilighters Hate for Pretty Much No Reason at all Besides They Did Something or Said Something Bad to Robert Pattinson
1.) Ryan Seacrest, for saying Rob wasn't as good-looking as Kellan Lutz and never having anything nice to say about him. How dare he have an opinion.
2.) Russell Brand, for cutting him off at last year's really sucky VMA's. When told fans were furious at Brand, Robert Pattinson replied, "Good." It's why we love him, for putting up with that shit.
3.) Kristen Stewart. Mostly just for her face, though. And she got to suck Robert's.
4.) Nikki Reed, because she thinks she know oh-so-much about him. They're BFFs. Nobody knows Rob ~like she does~.
5.) Anybody that looks at him the wrong way.


Source: lion_lamb, MTV.com, ibtimes.com

Riots confimed.

...well, not really--but Amazon.com thinks fighting's a possibility!

A fan just got this in her inbox:

Hello from Amazon.com,

Thank you for buying 'Twilight' on DVD from Amazon.com. We're writing with some important news about the release date.

Summit Entertainment, the studio producing 'Twilight' on DVD, will release it on Saturday March 21. Saturday delivery for your Amazon.com orders isn't guaranteed, but we're working to deliver your DVD as soon as possible after the Saturday release date.

We understand how important it is for fellow Twi-hards to watch and enjoy 'Twilight' on release day, so we've decided to make it happen. Amazon will provide--at no cost to you--a free 24-hour digital rental through Amazon Video On Demand that you can activate on March 21st. (No fighting the crowds or waiting in line at the store.)

Your promotional code and instructions will arrive in your inbox within hours of midnight EST on March 21st, and you can break dawn with 'Twilight' instantly. It's our way of saying thanks for your business.

Sincerely,

Customer Service
Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/

You know fandom is pretty bad when fighting at release parties is something to be expected.


Source: lion_lamb

It'll be a mad house.

Some of the Twilight actors/special guests are going to be visiting select DVD parties tonight... and somebody made the mistake of announcing where. Can you say "riots waiting to happen?"

Source: ONTD

ALL I HEAR IS WHINEWHINEWHINEWHINE.

The big deal with the Twilight fandom today is that they all hate Kristen Stewart, essentially because of her face.

No, really, it's because of her face.

It all started when Dan Levy from one of Canada's MTV affiliates called Kristen Stewart a "bitch" because she made a face--apparently a bitchy one--and didn't answer a question about kissing Robert Pattinson.

See and judge--or don't, please--for yourself:


So, she's made some comments here and there (and issued a clarification afterward) about the insanity of the fandom (I didn't really blame her for those...), but I think the truth of the matter is simple:




Source: youtube.com

FLITTERING IS THE NEW DAZZLING.

Ashley Greene who plays Alice Cullen talked to 4tnz!.com about Rob's screentime in New Moon:

Of course they threw Rob in there! He comes in as a flittering image to tell Bella not to do anything reckless and then you have him at the very beginning at school, at the party when he’s saying goodbye to her and the flittering images and in Italy as well, so they’ll get their fix.

We're being told the special effects are going to be better in the second movie, but I can't help but wonder if Edward's going to be "flittering" in and out like Samara in The Ring, because that would be freaky and cool.

Also sad because then Bella's imaginary soulmate would be more scary than the actual vampire. It's hard to take someone wearing a fabulous peacoat seriously.


Source: 4tnz.com

Now we know where you live, KStew.

A couple of fans were waiting outside of Kristen Stewart's house for autographs. I'm not sure how any commentary I make will make this more funny than it is creepy.


Source: youtube.com

Sometimes it's not the fans who are clinically insane...

Wonderall.msn.com recently posted "The Jennifer Aniston Match Game" now that her and John Mayer are over, and guess who was on it?

This makes me uncomfortable. How old is she now? At least Desperate Housewives-age. You know what this means?

SHE COULD BE A TWIMOM!

Ew.


Source: wonderwall.msn.com

This looks (photo)shopped.

It's a video told through oh so good photo manipulations. It documents Edward and Bella's relationship, followed by their creepy love child.

I know I say this a lot, but AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAA. Keep trying harder to be awkward, fandom!


Source: youtube.com

"Edward Cullen is not real and he is not possible." -John Green

Hank Green of the vlogbrothers posted a song video entitled "I'm Not Edward Cullen." It's a duet about a dissatisfied girlfriend and her non-sparkly boyfriend.

It's sad because no matter how much of a joke it is, it's probably happened.


Source: youtube.com, vlogbrothers

A Rose by Any Other Name... Apparently Smells Like Shit to Twilight Fans

TwilightersItalia.com announced that the Volterra segments of New Moon will be shot in Montepulcian instead.

Some Twilight fans at lion_lamb DNW that. It's not ~authentic~.

What's Different?



I don't see the difference.



Source: lion_lamb

DO NOT WANT.

Girlgames4u.com (won't even go there) has a Twilight Makeover Game. BASICALLY the point of this game is to dress up Robert Pattinson as the ~Edward of your dreams~

You can paint his lips pink.

And also ogle his digitized package so lovingly wrapped into speedo-esque panties.

If you think I'm kidding, you would be wrong.



Source: Girlgames4u.com

I hope this means no more Tinkerbell vampires.

NewMoonMovie.org reader Julie had the chance to talk to Peter Facinelli (he plays Carlisle Cullen, yum) about the New Moon script.

In the New Moon script it says ‘the sunlight catches Edward’s skin and we see him sparkle’ ,it then says in brackets underneath (BUT BETTER THAN IN TWILIGHT) I guess they really are trying to improve the special effects!

EL. OH. EL.


Source: NewMoonMovie.org

TWILIGHT BOARDGAME OUT OF STOCK ALREADY?

Walmart.com's Twilight board game is out of stock online. Yes, it's the one I've mentioned before. I'm not honest, but I think I'll buy it for my weekly Twihard Meetings.


Source: walmart.com

PEDO-APPROVED TWILIGHT FANVID.

The scariest thing about Twilight is not the werewolves or vampires, as most fans know. It's the imprinting on babies. KIND OF WEIRD.

Source: youtube.com

A TWIHARD.

I found this floating around the blessed internet.

Exhibit B:

Walmart's finally cashing in.

If you are a charming GQ motherbeeper just finishing up shooting the first few weeks of your new movie New Moon, where would you go?

Uhm, Robert Pattinson went to Walmart.

Well actually, he went to the Walmart headquarters in Arkansas. The burning depths of consumer hell and center for unsavory business practices supersuperSUPERmarket is about to open a Twilight section to their stores.

I'm beginning to think Stephenie Meyer is trying to take over the world, one cheap piece of merchandise at a time. Walmart knows its competition and this is a tentative treaty--sort of like Germany and Russia in WWII.

Poor Rob is caught in the crosshairs. Just say no to the under-priced thermal shirts!


Source: lion_lamb

Twilight: 10 Ways to Turn ‘New Moon’ Into an Awesome Movie Maybe Something Bearable.

BuddyTV.com recently posted a list of "10 Ways to Turn ‘New Moon’ Into an Awesome Movie." I laughed, because that might be a stretch, considering the caliber of Twilight.

(It's hard to forget those longing looks of love constipation.
)

So I present to you:
Twilight: 5 Ways to Turn ‘New Moon’ Into Maybe Something Bearable
5. HIRE PARIS HILTON. For the lolz. Come on, she'd be a great awkward cameo--like Stephenie Meyer was in the first one!
4. Do not cut down Edward's meteor speech! Death by cheese. And uncontrollable laughter.
"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty."
3. Make sure Kristen Stewart is even more awkward than before. Also, more bitchface.
2. More unattractive wigs! Jacob's wasn't unattractive enough.
1. Robert Pattinson. Cast him as every character and pull some simple Parent Trap technology. Everything needs more Robert Pattinson.


Source: buddytv.com; my depraved mind

PARIS HILTON WANTS TO BE IN NEW MOON. GAG.

I have nothing against Paris Hilton as a person, but I hope she doesn't get a role in New Moon, because Twilight doesn't need anymore terrible actors.

I'd settle for it if she's a character who dies, though.


Source: showbizspy.com

This is going too far. :(

Someone's manufacturing and going to sell Twilight board games. Maybe Twilighters can play their way to a life. Oh, I went there.

But a board game? Really? What's next?

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Source: MTV.com

A TWIHARD.

Exhibit A:

I don't know about you, but I'm quite afraid.


Source: youtube.com

There are six different Twilight DVDs you can purchase. SIX.

So, what could possibly be the difference between each? THE BONUS FEATURES, PEOPLE. The sad part is I'm sure some hardcore fans will buy more than one. Or even all.

Oh, Summit. You know how to take advantage of screaming fangirls. I applaud.


AMAZON.com TARGET

HMV (Canada only) COSTCO

BORDERS FYE



Source: lion_lamb